Beyond the Jedi Way
by Aubreys-Master
Summary: Some mistakes can never truly be forgiven, and lead us down different paths than we might have tread, given the choice. Beyond the Jedi way lies only hope, the biggest hoax of all. [AU. Slash. ObixAni. Rating may go up. Drama, action, romance.]
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.

Full Summary: Some mistakes can never be forgiven, and lead us down paths we'd rather not tread. Beyond the Jedi way lies only hope, the biggest hoax of all.

Aubrey's crap: I've been on a crazy haitus from the internet, for ages. But, I'm back, and with mild revisions! O Everybody say 'yay!'

* * *

Star Wars: Beyond the Jedi Way  
_Prologue

* * *

_

"_In the darkest hole  
You'd be well advised  
Not to plan my funeral 'till the body dies  
Come the morning light  
It's a see through show  
What you may have learned, and what you think you know"_  
Grind (Alice in Chains, Nothing Safe)

* * *

It had been so long since he'd seen sunlight. He had lost count of how long it had been. Day and night had run together into one long, painful moment. The only way he'd had to keep up with the passing of time had been his meals. The disgusting, foreign gruel came exactly every eight hours. That made three meals every day. He had tried to keep up with time that way, for a while. After about four months, he'd lost hope. They had beaten him to the point that he thought he might die. He hadn't screamed, though…not much. He would have welcomed death, nonetheless. His nerves were so abused; he didn't even feel the blows anymore. They didn't matter, anyway. Their pain was obsolete compared to feeling his training bond shatter. Had his Master given up on him? Had he deemed him dead, and taken a new Padawan Learner? Had he died in the war attempt? He didn't know. He hadn't seen or heard from Obi-Wan Kenobi in what he could only guess had been years. Not since before Praesitlyn, where Asajj Ventress had bested him, and he had been brought to this place. He wasn't even sure where 'here' was. He'd been in this fodder pile of a cell when he'd woken up.

Jedi Padawan Anakin Skywalker was a prisoner of war. It had taken him long enough to come to terms and accept it. Every day he brooded over Obi-Wan abandoning him. Why hadn't his Master come after him? He'd always suspected that Obi-Wan thought of him as a burden…that the _only_ reason he had taken him on as his apprentice was Qui-Gon Jinn… But over the years, he'd thought they'd bonded. He'd thought they were more than just Master and Padawan… Anakin had thought they were friends.

Obviously, he'd been mistaken.

The door to his cell crashed open, loudly and suddenly. Expecting it to be his next meal, Anakin shifted on the cold stone floor and glanced up, waiting for one of the locals to shove another cracked bowl under his nose. No such thing happened, though. Five humanoid, white creatures marched inside. They filed in one after another. They look familiar, Anakin noted distantly, frowning a bit.

_Clone troopers_, his mind supplied idly.

Wait a minute… Clone troopers? That meant…the Republic! Was he saved, at long last? His throat was far too dry and disused to speak, though he wanted to plea for help. Luckily, he didn't need to beg.

"Here's one." One of the troopers reported, pointing over at Anakin. Two more clones hurried over toward him. "Careful," the first warned. "Ventress was a sadist. The Emperor won't be happy, if we damage him more."

Anakin fidgeted, as one of the clones worked to pick him up. Upon discovering how little he weighed, they had decided that one was all that was necessary. Emperor? What were they talking about? Was he beyond the Outer Rim?

"Commander, there's no identification." Another clone reported, examining Anakin's tattered clothes, as he hung limply in their companion's arms.

"That's not important." The commander brushed it off. "Our orders were to clean out the detention cells, and return any survivors to Coruscant. We can find out who he is later."

Anakin's throat strained to speak his own name, but he wasn't sure he could remember how to talk. It had been so long since he'd needed to…

The trip to the Core didn't take long. He couldn't have been beyond the Outer Rim, Anakin noted with a frown. Of course, he had slept through most of the trip. His time perception was probably off. When he woke up, he heard hushed speaking.

"It can't be…" He recognized that voice. It was Palpatine, he was sure! He was so close to home – he could practically _feel_ the Temple. Of course, that was if the Council still counted him among their ranks. But, when he opened his eyes, Anakin was sure that the grotesque, deformed creature he was met with couldn't be Palpatine…could it? Anakin's confusion only doubled when the thing with Palpatine's voice addressed him. "Anakin…"

Quickly, Anakin nodded hurriedly. Yes! Someone knew who he was! This gave him hope, somehow. He hadn't thought he'd still be recognizable, after all this time. He knew they'd kept his hair shaved off, and he was sure there were several more scars than he'd left with. He was much thinner than he had been, too, than when he'd left the Temple for Praesitlyn. The food hadn't really been up to par, even by his standards. He had taken to not eating all of it, for the sake of not wanting to vomit it back up. Absently he wondered, if he ever grew his hair back out, would it still be blonde or prematurely gray?

"Anakin, my boy…" Palpatine repeated, reaching out a gnarled hand, to run it over Anakin's scalp. Thin fuzz had begun to grow back from the last shaving. "What happened?"

Anakin felt overwhelmed, when he was faced with the task of explaining everything that had happened to him over the past years. He wasn't even sure he could. Swallowing, he searched his mind for a moment, for the instructions on how to make his voice work.

"Water…" He croaked out, finally, feeling rather satisfied. Once had had it, and had consumed all of the liquid, he set about explaining all of what had happened with Ventress.

"I'm so sorry, my boy." The Chancellor murmured. "Leaving you there wasn't our intention at all. We merely thought you were back."

"Thought I was back?" Anakin echoed, raising an eyebrow. He obviously hadn't been there. How could they possibly think he was back?

"Well…yes. Even Master Kenobi thought you were back."

"Master Obi-Wan? How?"

"Well…" Palpatine repeated, and Anakin was sure he would have continued if the door hadn't opened. Mas Ammeda, Anakin identified. It seemed that he had kept his position as vice-chair, as long as Palpatine had Supreme Chancellor.

"My Lord, Senator Organa is here for his appointment with you." The blue bureaucrat informed him in a bored voice.

"Yes…" Palpatine nodded thoughtfully. "Anakin, I'm terribly sorry, but Senator Organa scheduled this weeks ago."

"It's no trouble, Chancellor," Anakin promised, already getting unsteadily to his feet. "I need to be getting home anyway."

As the Padawan headed for the door, Emperor Palpatine frowned after him. Anakin wouldn't know about the Empire, or the destruction of the Temple – the Order, for that matter – would he? That would definitely complicate things.

* * *

"_So you play a part?  
So you love her game?  
And in truth, your lies become one in same, yeah  
I can set you free  
Rather hear the sound  
Of your body breaking  
As I take you down, yeah…"_  
Grind (Alice in Chains, Nothing Safe)

* * *

Next: Chapter One  



	2. Chapter One

Disclaimer: We don't own Star Wars.

Acknowledgments: Co-written with the fabulous Tir Synni. Much, MUCH love to her for helping me with it. Inspired by David Sherman and Dan Cregg's novel _Jedi Trial_.

Summary: Some mistakes can never truly be forgiven, and lead us down paths we might not have tread, given the choice. Beyond the Jedi way lies only hope, the biggest hoax of all.

Tagline: Praesitlyn ends with a twist, how does the future adapt?

Chapter Music: _Long Way Down_ by the Goo Goo Dolls.

Story Music: _Behind These Hazel Eyes_ by Kelly Clarkson.

* * *

**Beyond the Jedi Way  
Chapter One

* * *

**

_Oh, here you are  
There's nothing left to say  
You're not supposed to be that way  
Did they push you out?  
Did they throw you away?  
Touch me now, and I don't care  
When you take me, I'm not there  
Almost human, but I'll never be the same_  
Long Way Down (Goo Goo Dolls, A Boy Named Goo)

* * *

Anakin had forgotten how much he hated Tatooine. Especially since his mother had died. But, that was where he sensed Obi-Wan was...WHY his Master (former Master?) was there, Anakin couldn't for the life of him figure out. But, that was where he was...A brief stop at the Temple ruins had given him a taste of what had happened, at the end of the war...and now he had ten thousand questions that needed answering. And, since Obi-Wan was the only Jedi he sensed was still alive, he'd gone out in search of him, and his search had brought him here. Tatooine. Right back where he'd started. Another thing he couldn't figure out was why, if he had to live on Tatooine, Obi-Wan had decided to be a hermit and live in the desert. But, honestly, those questions were on the bottom of his list. Right now...he wanted to know what had happened, and he was certain Obi-Wan Kenobi would be able to tell him. 

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, his breathing smooth, his body relaxed. He could feel the Force flowing around him. He lost himself within it. Trapped in the endless sands of Tatooine, the Force was now his only comfort. Through it, he could sense Luke Skywalker. He had no idea when he would be able to see those bright blue eyes again, that sandy hair again. Luke's uncle took care of that.  
A different pair of blue eyes flashed through Obi-Wan's mind, and his breathing faltered. Luke was also his last link to Anakin. Luke had Anakin's eyes, not Vader's.  
Anakin...  
Obi-Wan steadied his breathing and continued with his meditation. Such thoughts ruined his concentration. He could almost imagine that he could sense his old student.

It must have been his imagination, though. The pale, scarred creature making his way toward Obi-Wan's rather humble home looked nothing of the lively blonde he'd trained. But still, it was Anakin Skywalker. The young man stood in silence for several minutes, just staring at the door to Obi-Wan's house. This was it. This was definitely where his Master was...Did he really want to go through with this? Obi-Wan **had **abandoned him to live in that Hell for so long...He could leave now, and never look back. He could find Padme, and see if she would still have him. See if she hadn't moved on. If she hadn't...with the Order gone, he could truly build a life with her...But, no. That wouldn't be the right thing to do. It wouldn't follow the Jedi way. Tentatively, he reached a hand out and knocked. He felt horribly unprepared for this...his clothes were ragged from his ill treatment, over the past years. But, he hadn't been able to find any still salvageable in his room, in the Temple. The place had looked like it had been burned from the inside out...which, it probably had been...there were rotting bodies and bones cluttering the halls. It looked like a massacre had taken place...

Obi-Wan blinked, hearing an odd thud accompany his daydreaming. It took a moment for him to realize someone had knocked on his door. No one had knocked on his door in all of his time on this wretched planet. He pulled himself from his meditation and looked around. The nostalgic feeling from his meditation accompanied him into the waking world. A chill raced up his spine.  
_Ani... _Obi-Wan swallowed thickly and snatched his lightsaber from the table. It felt warm and familiar in his hands. _No! It's too soon! Is he after the twins? Is he trying to complete his mission, to destroy all the Jedi?  
But if that was the case, why is he knocking?  
_Dizziness swept over Obi-Wan as he walked to the door. Had the solitude finally driven him mad? What would he see when he opened the door? Would his Ani be there? Or Vader?  
_It doesn't matter. I must do my duty.  
_Nausea roiled in his gut as he opened the door.

Anakin tasted blood in his mouth, and only then realized he was biting his tongue. His durasteel hand clenched at his side, and he felt a wave of resentment roll over him. Oh dear...he wasn't being a very good Jedi, about this.  
"Hello, Master." He greeted softly. He wasn't sure if Obi-Wan could hear him over the roar of the wind, and the distant howl of a bantha. "It's...been a long time, hasn't it?"

The lightsaber clattered on the dusty floor. Obi-Wan stared disbelievingly at the pale, strange, painfully **familiar **young man in front of him. This being was more familiar than Vader. The face was dirty, but it was Ani's face. His Ani's face.  
_The desert has finally driven me mad._ Obi-Wan could still remember Anakin burning, screaming. This couldn't be Anakin. Anakin no longer referred to him as Master. Anakin no longer spoke with him.   
"Anakin?" he whispered. Through the Force, warm and comforting around him, he could sense **his **Anakin. He could barely breathe. "Anakin?"

A short nod was the only confirmation he received. The hot suns glinted brightly against Anakin's cool, dead, blue eyes. Blue. Not yellow. Blue.  
"May I come in?" He wondered, reaching up and wiping some sweat off of his face. "We have a lot to talk about...and I'd rather not do it out here. Too much sand, for my taste."

Numbly, Obi-Wan stepped aside, uncaring of his beloved lightsaber resting on the ground. Yes. Much to speak of. He cleared his throat. "I have little here, but you're welcome to any of it." His voice emerged as a croak, but he still sounded better than his Anakin. Because this was without a doubt **his **Anakin. Those tones that he had not heard for so long were without a doubt Anakin's. Those blue, blue eyes were Anakin's.  
He could barely believe those dead blue eyes were Anakin's.

"I don't need your food." Anakin informed him in a flat rasp, moving past him and shaking the hood of his cloak back. It was dirty, but it had survived his imprisonment better than the rest of his clothes. "What I need are answers."

Anakin's hair... Obi-Wan's hand trembled as he settled himself into a chair. With a wave of his hand, he gestured Anakin to sit down. What had happened to Anakin's hair? What had happened to Anakin? "We both need some answers," he whispered, his legendary calm wavering dangerously.

Sitting obediently in the nearest chair, Anakin turned a look that was somehow furious and impassive at the same time. He knew what he wanted answered first. The other nine-thousand-nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine would have to fight it out for second.  
"Why did you leave me with Ventress for dead?"

Obi-Wan blinked before looking around his humble home. Due to the . . . circumstances . . . of his isolation, he had not felt it safe to brings spirits into his home. Temptation was too great, even for a Jedi master. However, now he desired nothing else than something nice and strong. He took a steadying breath and tried to seek out the Force, tried to calm himself before he got any further. However, he was too upset to succeed.  
"I didn't," Obi-Wan replied, his voice quieter than he would have wished. "You came back, alive and well and successful. That was what made you a Jedi Knight."

"Liar!" His voice wouldn't carry the shout he'd indented. It couldn't, and gave out under the pressure. Scowling, he tried again, in a lower tone. "Don't feed me that garbage, Obi-Wan. I **know **what I've been through, and it wasn't remotely close to success." It was this man's fault for leaving him there...

Obi-Wan began to shake. He sought comfort in the Force, but he couldn't grasp it. For the first time in years, he could not find security in the Force's embrace.  
Anakin had turned traitor. Anakin had turned Dark. It had been that simple! There was...had been nothing else to it. He closed his eyes for a split second, not allowing himself to keep his eyes shut for any longer. "You returned," he whispered. "You returned to us, to Padme. You were promoted. You..." He shook his head. "What **happened**, Anakin?"

"What happened?" Anakin echoed, looking incredulous. "What do you **think **happened? Do I **look **like a man who's been successful? Use your brain! You're smarter than this."

Obi-Wan collapsed back in the chair. To his distant shame, he began to laugh. He wondered if Anakin could detect the faint hysteria in it. Or was it only faint to him? "Of course," he chuckled. "An imposter. An imposter the whole time! I knew you wouldn't turn Dark!" His laughter cut off. "Then..." Wide eyes stared at Anakin. "How did you escape? I need the details, quickly! There is much going on that I doubt you know."

"Clone troopers." He shrugged a little, blinking down at the ground as he recounted the most recent events. "I suppose Ventress died, and the Republic intervened. They said they were cleaning out the detention cells, and returning survivors to Coruscant."

Obi-Wan straightened his back, struggling to banish the turmoil inside him. _This whole time..._ And he couldn't think of that. That wasn't helping, that wasn't helping at all. "You have an impersonator," Obi-Wan began. "He returned and claimed your promotion. He married Padme. And then he turned Dark, aiding the new Emperor Palpatine in an effort to wipe the Jedi out." Padme's face haunted him. Obi-Wan fought to keep his face straight.

"That's what happened to the Temple?" Anakin swallowed back bile at the memory of all those bodies, littering the Jedi Temple's once majestic corridors.

Obi-Wan's calm threatened to abandon him. "Your impersonator," he said simply. He didn't believe he needed to say anymore.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Anakin took a moment to mourn his lost brethren, before getting back to the problem at hand.  
"Where's Padme now?" That was his next priority, now that he knew what had happened to the Temple. "She's safe, right? You wouldn't let anything happen to her...right?"

Obi-Wan wanted to close his eyes, to bury his face in his hands. He wanted to flee from this situation. But he couldn't. His sense of responsibility wouldn't let him. If nothing else, Padme was his responsibility. "Padme . . . died giving birth to the imposter's children," he said softly. "There was nothing anyone could do. I'm sorry, Anakin."

"_What_?" His wife had died having a murderer's babies...that boded well... For a moment, Anakin wondered whether it wouldn't have been better to have just stayed wherever Ventress had shoved him. He wouldn't have to deal with his world being completely gone, at least, then...Quickly shoving those thoughts out of his mind, he took a deep breath, and attempted to center himself. How much did he remember about the Force? Could he still wield it? How far had his lightsaber and piloting skills fallen, during his time in captivity, when he hadn't been able to practice them? Breathing out some displeased Huttesen phrases, he rubbed his scarred nose and eyes. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to fix this, when it seemed so far beyond repair? Was he supposed to fix it at all? He wasn't sure...

Obi-Wan was on his feet and moving to Anakin's side before he knew what was happening. "She thought it was you, Anakin," he said softly. "By law, the children are yours. Beautiful twins. They're safe and far from the imposter's clutches." He started reaching for Anakin's shoulder, hesitated, then leaned over and grabbed Anakin's shoulder. "You'll be safe here, Anakin. The Empire doesn't stray this far. Stay here, rest, and I will fill you in on what you've missed." He swallowed and forced the next words past the lump in his throat. "It's good to have you, the real you, back, Anakin."

A small spark seemed to glitter in his eyes for a moment, before a dry smile curved Ani's lips.  
"I missed you too, Master." He admitted, before moving his biological hand to run it over where his hair should have been. He cursed again, frowning a bit. He hadn't appreciated having all his hair shaved off...least of all his Padawan braid.

Obi-Wan caught Anakin's train of thought and involuntarily ran his hand over the same path Anakin's had taken. He remembered Anakin's hair, thick and golden.  
Luke's hair.  
"It's not over yet," he informed his old Padawan. "Come. You probably need to rest." With a wry smile, he waved a hand around his home. "The bed is small, but you may rest on it."

"Bed?" Anakin looked depressingly hopeful about that. "Force...when was the last time I slept in a bed?" He wondered, mostly to himself. Probably in the Temple, before he'd been called out for Praesitlyn, he reasoned, glancing around for this alleged bed. It was actually more of a sleeping mat, but it was far closer to a bed than the cold floor of his cell had been...

Obi-Wan hoped Anakin couldn't see the tremble in his hands as he took Anakin's hands and helped him to his feet. For a moment, he had a flashback to a much younger Anakin, being led away from his old home for the first time. Then he caught Anakin's exhausted blue eyes and was reminded anew of the situation. He tightened his grip on Anakin's hands. "Bed," he reiterated.

"Stars and galaxies..." The once-Padawan groaned softly, barely breathing out the words, as he sunk down onto the bed, curling up contentedly in it. He and Obi-Wan would have time to talk more, after he woke up again...for now, he couldn't remember the last time he'd had a good sleep. He'd need energy to focus, and plan. There was no questioning that...maybe then he'd have a better time absorbing all Obi-Wan had told him. The words filtered lazily through his mind, as his eyes drifted shut. Then, one particular one hit home, and he sat up rather quickly. "Did you stay _twins_?"

Obi-Wan thanked his Jedi reflexes. If not for them, Anakin's head would have renewed its acquaintance with his nose. "Twins," he confirmed drolly. "I'll tell you more when you've awakened. You need your rest." He smiled wryly. "You're not invincible, you know."

Sticking his tongue out at him, Anakin rolled his eyes.  
"Close enough." He shrugged, before once again making an attempt at sleep. This time it actually happened.

And, when he woke up, he was right back to pestering Obi-Wan with his interrogation. His voice needed to be used anyway...it wouldn't get stronger, if he didn't talk. (It seemed like a good excuse to him, anyway.)

Obi-Wan was waiting for Anakin's interrogation. To his surprise, he was looking forward to it. Anakin's imposter ...he had been good, but he lacked Anakin's curiosity, his passion, his drive. Tatooine tea shimmered in a battered mug, cradled between his hands. Another cup was on the other side of the table for Anakin. He wondered if Anakin would like it. He wondered a lot about Anakin's tastes in the time Anakin had been asleep.  
He wondered about a lot of things.

It was the tea he'd grown up with, though. Anakin drank it without questioning that particular aspect. He could remember whooping for joy, when he'd been young, and Shmi managed to save up enough money for a box of this tea.  
"So, other than the imposter, what else have I missed?" Anakin wanted to know, cocking his head a little.

Obi-Wan sipped lightly, pondering on exactly how to answer that question. He had known these questions were coming, but nothing he had mentally rehearsed seemed right. Taking a slight breath, Obi-Wan simply started from the beginning. Even as he started talking, he knew that it was for the best that he had brewed a large pot of tea. He would probably require all of it by the end.

Anakin listened to his tale in patient silence. If his imprisonment had taught him anything, it was how to hold his tongue. Obi-Wan described the Outer Rim sieges to him, and the mess that had followed.  
"Yoda's still alive too?" Anakin murmured questioningly, once Obi-Wan had stopped speaking.

Obi-Wan smiled. "Yes." Then his smile faded as he recalled that Yoda was one of the few Jedi alive. He cleared his throat. "Any other specific questions?"

"How old are Padme's babies?" He couldn't bring himself to call them 'my babies'. They weren't his. Law or no law, someone else's sperm had fertilized them in _his_ wife.

Obi-Wan sighed and told him. "Luke is living here," he continued. "Leia is living on Alderaan with the Organas. They have officially adopted her." He fell silent for a moment. "Luke has your last name."

"He's not mine." Anakin corrected, frowning again now.

Obi-Wan sighed and took another sip. "We had no way of knowing that wasn't you," Obi-Wan said softly, feeling even as he said it that it was a pathetic excuse. A master not recognizing his own padawan. He felt like Qui-Gon was staring disapprovingly at him. "He even looks like you." A small smile tinted his lips. "At least, he will look more like you when he grows older."

"Fantastic." Anakin snorted sardonically. "Who'd you give him to?"

Obi-Wan's next drink was gulp. "Owen and Beru."

"Good people..." He commented. He remembered the Lars family. They had allowed he and Padme to say with them, when they'd come looking for Shmi, just prior to Geonosis. "They'll take good care of him."

Obi-Wan remembered his reception. He remembered Owen's reaction to the Force and how he condemned him from seeing Luke. Finishing off his tea, he went to get a new cup. "Yes," he murmured. Most of all, he remembered the power he had sensed in Luke. "They will."

"And...maybe things will be fixed, before he has a chance to get involved in this mess." Luke wasn't Anakin's. But, he was Padme's, and, Padme had been his. So, his concern for...was he his stepson? He wasn't sure. His concern was still admirable, though. "I'm going to fix it."

Obi-Wan stared into his cup. "Both of the twins are powerful in the force. However, I doubt they will receive much training in their growing years." He shook his head abruptly. "You never did detail what exactly happened to you."

"Are you sure you want to know?" Anakin looked up at him. His eyes were hollow, as dead as they'd been when he'd arrived. Regardless of whether he'd chosen to or not, Anakin Skywalker had been an expert at hiding his emotions when he wanted to. It had been the only way he'd been able to keep his marriage a secret. This...soullessness was more than that, though. This wasn't anything he could inflict on himself. He wasn't hiding his emotions, they just weren't there. "Tell me now, if you don't. You can't take it back."

Obi-Wan actually didn't want to know. He didn't want to know in the slightest. But he didn't allow himself to show any hesitation. "I want to know." He leaned forward and touched Anakin's hand. "Please."

Nodding slowly, Anakin took a deep breath, and began to recount all that had occurred.

"She beat me." He stated flatly. "Ventress. Force...she really kicked my ass. I don't know where she took me, though. I was unconscious, and then under ground. Not much happened, while I was there...Three meals a day, eight hours apart exactly...beatings every four...No visitors, except her cronies, and they never said anything..." He shivered suddenly, and was suddenly thankful for his cloak, even in the hot desert climate. "They put...something in me...I don't know what. But, then I couldn't sleep. They did that about once a month, I guess. The insomnia only lasted a few days, but then the nightmares..." He broke off and bowed his head down, trying to sort through his thoughts. He couldn't. He couldn't organize them enough to continue with that much detail. "A-after that...I don't know how long I was there. Then the troopers came, and…here we are."

* * *

_I never put you down  
I never pushed you away  
You're not supposed to be that way  
And anything you want  
There's nothing I could say  
Is there anything to feel?  
Is it pain that makes you real?  
Cut me off before it kills me_  
Long Way Down (Goo Goo Dolls, A Boy Named Goo)

* * *

_To be continued in chapter two..._


	3. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: We don't own Star Wars.

Acknowledgments: Co-written with the fabulous Tir Synni. Much, MUCH love to her for helping me with it. Inspired by David Sherman and Dan Cregg's novel _Jedi Trial_.

Aubrey's Crap: Writing on this is going very slowly. With any God given luck, it will start picking up again before too long. In the mean time, there's a subplot, the first chapter of which will be uploaded before too long. I hope. In any rate, this is to tide you over for a bit. Please enjoy the new chapter.

Summary: Some mistakes can never truly be forgiven, and lead us down paths we might not have tread, given the choice. Beyond the Jedi way lies only hope, the biggest hoax of all.

Tagline: Praesitlyn ends with a twist, how does the future adapt?

Chapter music: _Breathing_ by Lifehouse

Story music: _Behind These Hazel Eyes _by Kelly Clarkson

* * *

**Behind the Jedi Way  
Chapter Two**

_I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though, I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there  
Take a breath, hold on tight  
Spin around one more time  
Then gracefully fall back to the arms of grace_  
Breathing (Lifehouse, No Name Face)

* * *

His hands were trembling, Obi-Wan noted with an odd detachment. It was enough to even shake his tea. He raised his tea to take a drink, realized he was beginning to slosh it, and put it back down. "I see," he murmured. He cleared his throat and told his old Padawan how long he had been there. "We would have come, you know," Obi-Wan commented, as idly as if he was discussing the weather. "If we had known. Nothing would have stopped us. Even Padme would have come." 

"But, you didn't." Resentment flooded through him again, and when he looked up his eyes were glazed with tears he wasn't aware of. "And, I had no way to contact you. Our bond broke, did you know that?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. "I suspected," he said softly. "We never even assumed. Your impersonator was well trained. No one suspected the difference."

"I haven't felt such agony in my life, Obi-Wan." Anakin informed him, his hands fisting on the table in frustration. "It was mind numbing--literally. I think I passed out three times. You seriously didn't notice it?"

Obi-Wan bowed his head. "Your impersonator was perfect," he said flatly. "When he went Dark, it broke all of our hearts. Perhaps it was with his descent that I began withdrawing. Or perhaps it was something else. I will have to investigate the matter." He raised his head and forced a weak smile. "Unfortunately, my investigative abilities are limited at the moment. The remaining Jedi are trapped in their respective zones. If we reveal ourselves, the Empire will not only destroy us but all associated with us." He met Anakin's glassy eyes. "I cannot draw the Empire here. I cannot have them find Luke."

"Then don't." Anakin shrugged. "I can stop them on my own, if I need to."

Obi-Wan's eyes flashed. He tried to quiet his temper, but it rebelled against his control. "To what end?" he demanded. "What could you hope to accomplish?"

"Revenge." He spoke the word calmly, as he picked up his spoon and stirred his tea idly. It was as though he spoke it everyday. As though he hadn't been raised by Obi-Wan and Shmi alike not to desire it. So much had changed since he'd last seen either of them...

Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment. Then he threw his head back and laughed. He laughed like he hadn't done for many years. It hurt his chest and scratched his throat, but he couldn't stop laughing. "Some things," he wheezed, "never change, my old padawan."

"You think not?" Anakin raised an eyebrow at him. "How'd you draw that conclusion, I wonder."

Obi-Wan chuckled, his chest aching. "You're still making decisions based on your emotions. There are still so many dangers you'll face. You have no idea what your return will mean to people."

"Obi-Wan..." Anakin offered him a grim smile. "Anakin Skywalker isn't coming back. Not if I can help it. Danger doesn't matter. I'll do what I need to. I'll succeed because I _have_ to. After that...the best thing in the universe sounds like starting over..."

Obi-Wan sighed, feeling oddly rejuvenated despite the grim conversation. "And what exactly do you have in mind?"

"Well, I was planning on grabbing the nearest lightsaber and charging in there, cutting down everything remotely political in sight." The former Padawan admitted with a lazy grin. "Of course, if you have a better plan, I'm all ears."

Involuntarily rolling his eyes, Obi-Wan commented drolly, "Well, you can find out more concerning the gathering Rebellion. It might increase your lifespan, as well as help you gather information." He fell quiet for a moment. He could give Anakin the information necessary to find the Rebellion, but then...he would lose Anakin all over again. He had sworn...to protect Luke. Even if he wasn't Anakin's child, he was Padme's, and he was dangerously powerful in the Force. But if he could aid Anakin, like he failed to do before…

"Can't this galaxy go two weeks without a rebellion?" His former apprentice raised an eyebrow in bemusement. It sounded like the Clone Wars were about to repeat themselves...if they'd stopped to begin with.

"The Rebellion against the Empire." Obi-Wan considered for a moment. "And while there are always people against those in power, this particular group has great reason to be so concerned. Many high names are tied in with the Rebellion. It's more guerrilla warfare than anything at the moment, but soon, the Empire will pay attention." He smiled mockingly. "Then a many great deal of lives will be lost."

"Not if I can help it." Anakin shook his head. Then, a new question occurred to him, and he frowned in confusion. "Obi-Wan? When did the Republic become an Empire?"

Obi-Wan laughed bitterly. "When Emperor Palpatine gained power. When the new emperor wiped out the Jedi."

"I see..." He nodded thoughtfully, closing his eyes for a moment. "And, the massive disturbance in the Force would the fault of who?"

"Emperor Palpatine," Obi-Wan repeated. Then his eyes narrowed. "Do not try anything foolish, Anakin. If it were that easy, then we would not be living in these times. Countless Jedi died. If you attempt anything, you will simply be another among their number."

"I told you." Anakin reminded him tonelessly. "I'll succeed because I have to."

Obi-Wan stared into his tea. He wanted to reach across the table and smack his former student. He didn't. "Many warriors have gone against the Empire with such thinking," he informed him softly. "In this matter, you will be no different. If you leave here now, with no plans or resources, you shall die without ever achieving your goals." He smiled mirthlessly. "Or worse. You shall follow your impersonator's path and turn Dark."

"I sense the dark side, Master." Anakin informed him flatly. "Which translates to the Sith. If you have any faith in Qui-Gon's judgment at all, you must realize that I might be the only one who _can_ do this." He snorted sardonically, and lounged back in his chair. "Besides, I think you're underestimating how stubborn I am. I am _not_ dying until I get _exactly_ what I want. And, by that point, it won't matter whether I live or not."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but laugh. "There is that, of course." He realized dimly that he had finished off another cup of tea. And that it was cold. He considered getting a new one but dismissed it for the moment. "Do you have any idea where you're going to start?"

"Where else?" His former Padawan raised an eyebrow. "I know exactly where Palpatine is. Coruscant."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Of course. Going straight to the top." He hesitated. "Many things have changed since your…imprisonment, Anakin. Not just social structures but physical structures. Palpatine is determined to--" He paused. "Have you seen Palpatine since your return, Anakin?"

"Yes." He nodded. "The clones took me straight to him" Anakin grimaced a little. "He looks like someone melted him, and tried to clue him back together. Poorly."

"So the emperor knows you're alive," Obi-Wan said flatly. "This will definitely lessen your chances of moving around unseen or unscathed. The emperor will consider you a danger to his plans."

"Or an ally." He corrected dryly. "Palpatine used to trust me. He might still. He might be my key to get in close."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Palpatine trusts no one. I doubt he ever trusted you. You were simply another piece of the puzzle. He knew your power, Anakin." He considered for a moment. "But he doesn't know that you know that. Did you tell him where you were going?"

"No." He shook his head a little. "Though, I think he knew I was going to the Temple first."

Thoughtfully stroking his chin, Obi-Wan thought for a moment. He glanced out one of his dingy windows, noting the first sun descending into the horizon. A chill went up his spine. He stood and went for more tea. "There's a chance he knew you would hunt me out," he replied softly.

"You said yourself," Anakin pointed out, rising to his feet himself, and pacing over to one of the windows, watching the sand swirl around outside. "The Republic...Empire...whatever it is right now. It has no power here. Jabba won't stand for invasion."

Obi-Wan smiled fondly at him. "Whatever you do, I know there will be great risks involved, my old Padawan. So you are intent on this course?"

Turning back, Anakin offered his former Master a very serious look.  
"What else do you propose I do?" He wondered. "Just fade into the background, and watch this happen? Just...just..." Shaking his head in frustration, he groaned and let his head fall against the wall. "I can't do that. Not yet. It's not how I'm programmed."

Obi-Wan laughed harshly and shook his head. "Programmed." He smiled wryly at the younger man. "Go. Meditate. Listen to the Force. If this path is truly yours, you will know. But now is not the time for hasty decisions. How long have you been free of that terrible place?"

"Less than a standard week." He sighed, closing his eyes tiredly. "It took a while to catch a ride here..." When his eyes opened again, they looked less dead than before. He looked furious. "And, that's just it!" He burst out. "Obi-Wan...I spent five years in **Hell** because of Ventress." He hissed. "Dooku trained her! If I can't kill her, killing her Master's people is the next best thing. You said my imposter fell? Fabulous. I'll take him, and the Emperor out while I'm at it. I'll save the Sith damned galaxy now, while I have a chance to, and **then **I will be able to disappear." Then. Only then. Not a day before. Not a second before.

Obi-Wan reached out and grabbed Anakin's hand. "I know. Rest first," he urged. "Stay here for just a little bit. Regain your strength and your bearings. Only when you are truly one with the Force again can you fight as you desire. Right now you are giving into your anger, into your hate. We...I just got you back, Anakin. I cannot lose you again."

Sighing deeply, Anakin tried to calm.

"I've always been told my emotions make me stronger." He snorted, staring down at his grasped hand, his gaze empty again. "Even now...when I'm technically allowed to...you're still not letting me use them..."

"Not hate, not anger," Obi-Wan corrected. "Those have led many down the dark side." He sighed and tightened his grip. "At least rest. The journey you are about to embark on is a terrible one. You will need your strength." _And I need time as well..._ Still watching Obi-Wan's hand holding his own, Anakin finally sighed and nodded.

"For a while..." He agreed softly. "I don't know how long, though."

Obi-Wan nodded solemnly. "That'll be good enough for me." He gestured. "More tea?"

Eyeing the pot for a moment, Anakin glanced back up at him with almost childish hope.

"Do you have something stronger? Maybe?" He couldn't seem to recall having ever gotten drunk...If he was going to go running off to his death, Tatooine's alcohol was a good way to send it off, it seemed.

Obi-Wan shook his head. A wry smile played on his lips. "No. I didn't think it safe considering my…situation. Too much temptation, I suppose you can say." He glanced out the window again. "It was agreed that I would stay here and protect Luke from the Empire. Unfortunately, I am not allowed close enough to teach him anything of his heritage."

"You're not **allowed**?" Anakin raised an eyebrow at him. "According to who?"

Obi-Wan carefully folded his hands. "His caretakers. It was assumed best to leave him in their charge."

"Bantha fodder." Anakin declared, rolling his eyes, and crossing his arms over his chest. "He's **my **wife's son, and **I** say we're going to visit him. Soon."

Obi-Wan remembered the fear in Owen's eyes. He stared at his hands. A fear in something as natural as the Force..."And what else do you propose to do?" he inquired drolly. "Owen believes you to be Darth Vader. He will not greet you with open arms."

"Master," Now his former Padawan just looked exasperated. "Do I **look** like a Sith Lord to you?"

Obi-Wan laughed and shook his head. "No. I suppose not." He smiled at Anakin. "I suppose it's been a long day for me, as well. Or maybe I'm getting old."

"It's possible." Anakin agreed teasingly.

Obi-Wan smiled wryly and gripped Anakin's hand one last time before standing. "Would you like something to eat? I don't have much."

"Food?" A small smile curved Anakin's lips slightly, which he promptly licked in mild excitement. "**Solid **food? I can't seem to remember the last time I **ate **solid food..."

"I should have offered you some rather than tea earlier." He waved for Anakin to remain sitting and began looking around the humble kitchen. What looked like enough before looked like nothing now, as he recalled Anakin's appetite.

"We can go see Luke later..." Anakin mused, trying not to blush as his stomach grumbled under the enticing aromas. "Probably today, even." He couldn't say he was looking forward to visiting the Lars homestead again. The last time he'd been there, his mother had died. Somehow, these circumstances seemed lacking in more cheer.

Finally finding something, Obi-Wan pulled it out of the cabinet. A moment later, he was making a humble dinner. He heard Anakin's stomach grumble and smiled a little. "Food first, of course," he replied teasingly.

"Food always comes first, Master." Anakin confirmed, before frowning a bit at the title. "I should probably stop calling you that..."

Obi-Wan smiled fondly at him. "Call me what you feel comfortable with, Anakin. More tea?"

Nodding slightly, and scooting his mug forward, Anakin continued to ponder that new little issue. "But, you're **not**, anymore..." He mumbled. "It'd be...improper...or something...wouldn't it?"

Obi-Wan chuckled before turning back to the food. It would be a cool meal, but it'd work. "We never stop learning, Anakin. In that way, that term is never truly improper."

"That's not what I meant." Nervously, he felt behind his ear, where his Padawan braid should have been. "I meant...I'm not a Jedi, anymore. If I ever really was, I certainly can't be now."

Obi-Wan stopped messing with the food and turned to him. "You still have your powers, Anakin. Being a Jedi does not mean having the braid or being in the temple." He stared seriously at Anakin's sober face. "Our options are limited, but if you choose to be a Jedi, the Force will aid you."

"Obi-Wan," Anakin met his gaze, his own faltering unsurely. "All the Jedi are is a religion! One that I can't follow. I've tried, I--" His voice fell under the strain of his rising tone. "Master Yaddle was imprisoned...she stayed true to the Jedi way. She...she didn't give into feelings of the dark side...I tried..." He repeated, his voice cracking again. This time not from physical but emotional strain. "I couldn't. I hate her...I hate Ventress so much...and, while I was there...I even hated **you**, for abandoning me..."

Food abandoned, propriety abandoned, Obi-Wan rushed to Anakin's side and held him tightly. He felt Anakin trembling in his arms. "Being a Jedi is **not **religion. It's simply proper control of the Force." He tightened his grip on Anakin. "And I will never knowingly abandon you. Ever."

"But, you did..." He mumbled into his former Master's chest. "When I needed you. And I--Force, I spent **years** brooding over it!"

Obi-Wan stroked Anakin's back, feeling something break inside of him. "Never knowingly," he repeated. "I...I had only seen your imposter . . . thought you were lost to us like that. I never suspected the truth."

"I...I'm married." Anakin tried again, desperate to find some reason to justify feeling so unworthy to return to the Jedi. "Or, I was. Jedi can't do that. It's against the Code."

Obi-Wan laughed weakly. "Code. And look where it got us?" He shook his head. "That Code was intended to aid in the concentration of the Jedi, something that obviously failed miserably. A true Jedi is a person one with the Force and who uses his powers to aid the Galaxy, not allowing himself to be ruled by his hate. No more."

"Didn't we **just **cover the whole hating thing?" He was certain they had...

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Everyone hates, Anakin. It's the control behind the hate that leads one down their individual path. Those who use it for their own purposes become Dark. Those who find a better way are usually Light."

Peeking up at him, Anakin sighed grimly, and allowed his expression to relax a bit.

"I've missed you," He decided, allowing a small smile to twitch on his lips.

Darth Vader flashed through Obi-Wan's mind. He tried not to tighten his grip further. "I missed you, too."

Reaching up, Anakin's arms almost automatically encircled his waist, returning the hug.

"At least I didn't have any nightmares earlier, that I'm aware of..." The younger mused, having apparently found the bright side of the situation. "Maybe the drugs are wearing off..."

For a moment, Obi-Wan allowed himself to lean against Anakin. The younger man's hair reeked of the desert sand, and he wrinkled his nose a little. But he didn't stand back up. "Your metabolism was always fast," he murmured.

"They usually last longer than that, that's all." The blonde explained. "But...I don't really know when the last time they gave them to me was..."

Obi-Wan shook his head and reluctantly peeled himself away from the younger man. "All the more reason I should get your food," he murmured.

Anakin smiled honestly this time. It might have been the first real smile on his face since he'd arrived, in fact. It was an amazing change...he seemed to light up. It made Obi-Wan wonder about something, though. The life that seemed to spark when the younger man smiled just made the dead air to him, when he wasn't, all the more obvious. It inspired a question that he normally wouldn't have, under any normal circumstances, asked.

"Anakin...how horrible was it?" He wondered, busying himself with preparing the food, so he wouldn't have to meet his former apprentice's gaze. Anakin had told him the raw facts, like any good Jedi would. But there was that dead, soullessness to the young man that hadn't been explained. He needed emotions, opinions, to understand that.

"It made Nar Shadaa look like the crèche." When Anakin had been in the smuggler's moon's spice mines, he'd thought he'd been left to rot in Hell. Now it seemed like child's play. At least he'd been used to slavery! To the endlessly long hours of monotonous, labor filled days. Slavery hurt his pride, and made him bitter but...confinement he hadn't been prepared for. Every day he'd felt a small piece of his soul chip away until he was unsure of how much was left.  
Obi-Wan felt his breath catch, and for a moment he had to close his eyes. He tried to get over that quickly, though.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured.

Anakin shrugged, seemingly unaffected by his proclamation. "They'll pay. Keep an animal caged too long, and it will lash out."

Obi-Wan shook his head weakly, hiding the faint tremble of his hands as he prepared Anakin's plate. When he turned around, his face was unreadable. "Eat, and then rest," was all he said. He placed Anakin's plate on the table and sat down across from him.

Anakin watched him in silence for a few minutes, before obeying.

"Have you been into town, yet?" He wondered conversationally, mostly just wanting to get the topic off of himself.

Obi-Wan smiled a little at the change in topic. "Once or twice. Enough times to be called 'Crazy Old Ben.'" He shook his head. "I already have a slight reputation."

"Ben?" Anakin echoed, raising an eyebrow. "How did they manage to get 'Ben' out of Obi-Wan?"

Smiling wryly, Obi-Wan shook his head and leaned on his palms. "Obi-Wan. Old Ben. Apparently, 'Ben' is a far more familiar name than 'Obi-Wan.' I went along with it. It improves my 'disguise.'"

"I see..." Snorting in amusement, Anakin took a few more bites, before asking his next question. "Been in the Cantina, yet? The spacers used to say it has some of the most potent booze on the Outer Rim. I was hoping for a first hand opinion on the matter."

"It's interesting," Obi-Wan admitted, eyes darkening a little. "I doubt it's the most potent, though." He smiled at Anakin. "Would you like to go with me to try some before you leave?"

"Most definitely." He rarely did anything without a reason. This was no different. "Alcohol is something everyone should try, at least once, right?"

Obi-Wan looked him over thoughtfully. He sized up his slender, half-starved frame. Raising a single eyebrow, Obi-Wan said simply, "I will be there when you try it."

Anakin was loosening up quite a bit, now that the harsh details were out of the way, and the setting was growing somewhat more relaxed. He actually laughed, in response to that. He couldn't seem to remember the last time he'd laughed...It would have had to be before Praesitlyn...but, how far before, he couldn't recall.

"Should I feel insulted, or reassured?" He chuckled, pleased that his voice was holding up to the strain, feeble though it still was.

Obi-Wan only chuckled and shook his head. He glanced at the faint remnants of Anakin's food. "More?"

"You do love me." Anakin teased him, before nodding. He'd forgotten how much he appreciated the need for chewing at meals, too...It hadn't been necessary with the gruel Ventress had fed him. "Thank you, Ma--Obi-Wan." He added quickly.

The warm smile came unbidden to Obi-Wan's lips. Silently, he dished Anakin another plate, as well as making himself one. He had forgotten his own hunger in mind of Anakin's. He carried the plats to the table. "Anytime."

Obeying Obi-Wan's commands to eat and rest, Anakin finished the food quickly, and allowed his former Master to steer him back toward the sleep mat. It was dark, by the time the food had been consumed, anyway.

"Where will you sleep?" He wondered, reasonably curious.

At the thought, Obi-Wan looked around. His home was humble in its very nature, intended for a hermit. A guest was the last thing he expected. He hesitated a moment. "I will meditate and sleep by the kitchen," he decided. "It won't be the worst place I've slept." He pushed Anakin towards the mat. "Sleep now."

"You don't have to." Anakin frowned guiltily. "I don't want to take your bed away from you. Sleeping on the floor's not bad, I don't mind."

Obi-Wan shook his head and gently pushed the younger man so he fell on the mat. "After all this time, you deserve a mat. The floor won't kill me." Especially since your impersonator couldn't do it. "You should rest."

"Well, at least stay with me." This was more of a command than an offer. Apparently, that was another facet of Anakin's personality that hadn't changed with time and solitude. "I won't be the reason you're sleeping on the floor."

It was a facet of Anakin's personality that Obi-Wan had not realized he had missed so much. "Anakin, I wouldn't want to disrupt your rest."

"You won't." A leaky roof hadn't managed to disrupt his sleep, after the first few months, Obi-Wan certainly wouldn't. "I'm tired of sleeping cold."

Obi-Wan hesitated, sitting beside Anakin. "The floor doesn't bother me," he said one last time, earnestly.

"Well, it bothers me." The young man's eyes lacked any humor, as he finally slipped out of his filthy thermal cloak, revealing the full extent of the hardly useful tatters that remained of his tunic, and visible scars on his arms and chest, too, for the first time since his arrival. "So, stay put. I better not find you on the floor, in the morning."

Obi-Wan lightly fingered the scars. His fingers trembled. He blamed it on weariness. "You won't," he replied softly. When he realized what he was doing, he pulled his hand back. "Since you are the guest . . . what side would you like?"

"Obi-Wan, I'm really not that picky." Anakin smirked briefly, before his gaze followed to the scar that Obi-Wan had been touching the last. He remembered them all clearly. How he'd received each and every one of them. "It's alright." He promised, dragging his eyes back up to meet his former teacher's. "You can touch them, if you want. I don't care. They're pretty bad, I know."

Obi-Wan shook his head and looked away. "I have no right to such things." He shook his head mirthlessly. "Lay down, Anakin. Guests first."

Anakin eyed him for a moment, before grinning ferally, and flat out tackling him down. They both ended up sprawled with very little dignity across the mat, tangled up in each other.

"There." The blonde laughed, resting his head on Obi-Wan's chest. "This is the side I want."

For a moment, Obi-Wan's breath caught, whether out of surprise at the action, surprise at the intimacy, or just a reaction to a touch after so long as a hermit, he didn't know. He didn't care, either. Smiling involuntarily, Obi-Wan nodded. "You always do come up with unorthodox plans, Anakin," he commented wryly, laying his head back.

"My ways are always more effective, when they work." He pointed out. The boy curled up on himself, as he was used to doing from the cramped quarters of his prison cell. He did, however, alter the position ever so slightly, leaving an arm draped over Obi-Wan's waist, in a half embrace, nodding quickly off to sleep.

For a long time after Anakin dozed off, Obi-Wan couldn't sleep. Thoughtfully, he stared at the casual, almost possessive arm wrapped around his waist. Anakin always did find new ways to surprise him. He almost put an arm around Anakin several times, but each time, noting Anakin's otherwise protective positioning, he stopped himself. Instead, he lay on his back, staring at that slender arm.

_You, more than anyone else, disrupted my Jedi calm. And ever after all this time, you can do it so easily._

* * *

_Cause I am hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
That's all right  
All right with me  
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside your door  
And listen to you breathing  
That's where I want to be, yeah_  
Breathing (Lifehouse, No Name Face)

* * *

_Continued in Chapter Three_


End file.
